Monday, February 21, 2011

Boy? Man?

There are some interesting articles about the problem of pre-adult males not making the transition into manhood. Kay S. Hymowitz writes a great article about this and brings up good points. Women want to meet and marry educated responsible men. Many women are frustrated at the bevy of video game playing, band wannabe boys who shun the idea of marrying a woman and starting a family. The lack of ambition and drive in these males is evident in the following percentages presented in Kay S. Hymowitz's article.
What also makes pre-adulthood something new is its radical reversal of the sexual hierarchy. Among pre-adults, women are the first sex. They graduate from college in greater numbers (among Americans ages 25 to 34, 34% of women now have a bachelor's degree but just 27% of men), and they have higher GPAs. As most professors tell it, they also have more confidence and drive. These strengths carry women through their 20s, when they are more likely than men to be in grad school and making strides in the workplace. In a number of cities, they are even out-earning their brothers and boyfriends.

Shamefully, our elementary, junior high and high schools are geared toward teaching girls. Boys cannot sit still and learn like girls. Changes are needed in our school system to give our boys a good start in their education. Young men also need good role models to give them the desire and drive to excel. Too often, baby boomer parents have inflicted their obsolete hippie philosophy on their children instead of setting good boundaries. Girls, who by their very nature, try to please are not as affected as their male counterparts, who need prodding and pressure to succeed.

What can be done? Men need to realize that there are more opportunities now than ever before to obtain degrees helping them in today's workforce. Online courses, night classes and other avenues are available if you missed the educational chances you had at an earlier age. I would also encourage you to consider that with the commitment of marriage and children comes a sense of family and meaning to life. There is a spiritual aspect in creating this unique bond that is unlike anything else. It can be the making of a man to face the challenges and stay the course through the hardships certain to come in any marriage.

I also appeal to the well educated women at this point. There are good men out there that may not have comparable degrees but are intelligent, hardworking and able to improve themselves with the right woman by their side. As well educated as you may be, you might be overlooking an important asset, character. This is an underrated attribute superseded by the quest for a man with the superior education or status that you value. Cads can own there own corporations or have acquired a PhD. You should observe how a prospective mate treats those around him, what he values and what spiritual beliefs shape his core as a human being. A man with character faces and overcomes the strife and challenges of life with wisdom. He is patient, kind and willing to reach out to you for support without insecurity. He commits to the institution of marriage in a reasonable amount of time. He does not expect you to live with him until he gets bored and finds someone else.


  1. I completely agree with you about this problem starting in early education. I often wonder how difficult it would be to incorporate a more involved and hands-on education that would cater to both sexes. It really isn't that difficult.

  2. You are so right! Women could also benefit from a hands on education. Wow, it sounds sexy when I write it.


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