Pam and Michael walk into a bar for drinks on the way home from their date. Michael scans the room and stares down a guy giving Pam a hard up and down. He puts his hand on her back possessively and guides her onto a bar stool. Earlier, in the car she had said she felt like having a margarita. When the bartender walks over Michael says, the lady wants a margarita and I'll have a martini. He takes a twenty out of his wallet, puts it on the bar and turns to Pam, winking at her. Is Michael a controlling jerk or a he-man?
To truly answer this question we need more information on Michael, but even given this limited scene some women will say he is a macho jerk. Women can take care of themselves and might bristle at Michael's actions saying he is overprotective. I say these women secretly love a he-man. What defines a he-man? A he-man is protective of his woman without being controlling. He takes control of situations without disregarding her desires. He is well mannered and confident without being cocky. He is not threatened by other men in normal circumstances. A he-man does not use women, he appreciates them. He does not whine or worry about what everyone thinks about him. He is considerate to those around him.
John Wayne comes to mind. He was tough with a rugged gentleness about him. John Wayne said what he felt and stood by it. He took criticism with a sense of humor. When John Wayne knew he was dying, he accepted it with dignity and said he had no complaints because he had been given a great life. In his last interview he laughed and said he was always surprised that an ugly guy like himself made it big in Hollywood. He was a true he-man.
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